Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Baby girl turning 3

Being 3 is a huge milestone. For me, it means you are no longer a baby, or a tot. You are a preschooler. It means drop-off, parent night out, swimming lessons, dance class and kids camp. So it really means some more freedom for this tired mom.

On the flip side, I guess it is also pretty emotional for me to watch this baby girl growing into a big girl on every each day. She is still the old silly-me girl, but at the same time adding on some shades of worry and concern on her face here and there. After all the trauma of being in the hospital and getting over her first pneumonia early this year. We are still on the mend for recovery. That does add some season and salt into life.

Recently on instagram, I discovered so many #babywear #babyclothes and started following alot of brands/merchants and even the artists themselves. It's sooo crazy and wonderful at the same time because I can basically follow their ideas on my daily outfits. If only there is enough money in my bank account, I would buy off everything on their blogs.

In conclusion, growing up does demand you to have more material things in life. It also helps to remind me that not everything comes in a forever lasting price. The value of an object is determined by how often you use it. Say like a piece a clothing in your closet sits there over the year and never be worn. To me that costed me $15 but has no return value. So, what is the real value of growing up? It will be determined on how much pain and laughter it will involve to make it a priceless milestone. What? more pain? Yes, by now I should know that life is not supposed to be easy. It will be more angry faces and heartache. Especially with this baby girl.

Horray! Go! Party with your new milestone! Happy Birthday to my baby Olivia.  

Friday, March 30, 2012

You are just so special~~One more post before April comes to fool you :)

As you can tell, I have not updated the blog since you came and interrupted my life (j/k). Tomorrow is the last day of March (the month that I have been waiting for 10 months). I just want to finish it off before April comes.

For your information:
Weight- 7pounds 10 ounces
Length- 20 inches
Time- 3/15/12 Thursday, 12:43pm.
Apgar score- 9 out of 9! woot!

During the first 4 days of your life, I was miserable with breastfeeding. I had some scabies from you sucking or biting my nipples >;(... You were crying so hard to the point that your voice was coarse. We were sad to hear you crying. I was feeling very inadequate, almost disappointed at myself. Finally on Day 5, Mr. Milkman arrived! I have no problem pumping and providing you the nutrients. Although I wish I could breastfeed you directly but I don't think having you abuse my nipple is a pleasant idea.

On your 1 week pediatric visit, you have regained your birth weight and gained 4 more ounces. Good job! Your length is in the 90%! You are gonna be a tall girl! AND, you had to do some blood tests. You did not cry the entire time during the visit! I almost thought that you don't have any pain receptors in your heels! You passed your hearing test..(not deaf for sure now). You have a special mongolian spot on your butt :) You have double dimples on right side of face. You have special one-line pattern on both of your hands.

All in all, you are just so special!!

This is just the beginning...

On March 15th, our little girl finally came. She was gorgeous, beautiful and flawless. The first time I saw her, I thought to myself "Wow, this is what I have been waiting for!". I couldn't believe what I have seen and heard right in front of me. This little precious angel just appeared. I am soooo excited to hold her and kiss her. Not to mention how soft her skin is. I couldn't stop touching her :).

The labor story was long. Too long to forget about it. I checked in the hospital on 3/14 at 3pm. The Pitocin started around 5pm. My water didn't break until 2am on 3/15. Dr. Graham came himself! That man does not need sleep. He came back to see me again around 8am. I was miserable. But I was finally dilated to 6-7cm. Oh! I finally experienced what it felt like having the water broke. It was bathing in a hot spa tub. It was warm..
I clearly remembered how it was like since I started on Pitocin all the way until 12 hours later. Between 4am-6am, Will felt asleep. He was hopeless to watch me moan and suffer. Although he did an excellent job of holding my hands, making sure the water was warm enough in the jacuzzi. However, I was just getting so tired and frustrated. I finally gave in and asked for Epidural around 8:30am. Pretty soon after that request, I felt sudden relief from the contraction and began chatting with the staff. About 11:30am, the nurse, Linda, told me that I am fully dilated and ready to push this baby out. We all thought she was going to be huge. I was mentally ready to tear badly. Dr. G came right on time when Baby O showed her little head. The nurse pulled in a mirror for me to see her head. That moment was unforgettable. I saw her little forehead and hair. Right away, I knew she was facing up. Good thing I had epidural. Otherwise, I would have more pain of pushing her out spine against my spine.

Needless to say, my mother's surprising visit made me feel "out of control" a bit. For some reasons, my mother ALWAYS knew how to surprise me and make me feel .... 'annoyed?' (I didn't tell anyone, especially on FB that we are in the hospital and pushing the baby out. How can she know that we were there and right at that moment!???") Anyways, so she came and saw Olivia still being checked by the nurse. There was NO WAY that I would allow her to come in and watch the birth. So, she fed me while I was just holding the newly born Olivia at the bedside. A couple of hours later, we were moved to the postpartum room. The Tiens, the Yangs later came with goodies. We "tried" to sleep that night but we were in the mist of being exhausted and super excited. We ended up not sleeping well. Finally at 3am, we took advantage of the nursery to take her for like 3 hours. And, that was the beginning of interrupted sleep life.

Are we glad that we did this? YES. For sizzle. Am I ready for another round? HECK NO!!! Will was like " When can we have another baby?" soon after (like 5 mins) he got to hold Olivia. Men clearly don't know how painful labor is. Rarely men know how to appreciate the whole 9 months of child laboring and birthing process. Well, your dad is different. He was all 100% supportive and all there for me on those 3/14 and 3/15 days. You should totally kiss and hug him on your birthday. But, for him to ask for another baby THAT SOON? I just can't see myself go through the process in any time, nor bear the whole month of bleeding AFTER the birth,  and breastfeeding the little cranky one (Sorry, my sweet daughter.. you might have to experience this someday in your future. Being a woman is just not easy..)

Monday, March 12, 2012

Let's playing the waiting game.

After a long week and weekend, baby Olivia is still enjoying her jacuzzi. Who would want to come out while it is still cold and wintery outside? We just had another confusing day of mix snow shower rain yesterday.

Strangely parenthood has begun sinking in since the due date has came and passed. Last Thursday, Dr. G stripped my membrane to help get the contraction started. But I didn't have any regular contraction. I felt like a failure somehow. Some women can have birth delivery within 12 hours after the procedure. I ended up just having some mucus and felt strangely "heavy" on my uterus. (sorry about all these details. I just want to remind Oiliva how mcuh work I have done to bring her out to the world). All in all,  I learned that I should never put high expectation on my kids. God is the one who takes control in our lives. I should put my faith and hope in Him, and not my child. If I do that, I will be disappointed because we would want to control our children and eventually struggle with ourselves.

So, here is the deal for the 41st week. Dr. G took a good look at me. He said, " Your cervix is very favorable to be induced. She is at zero stage. Your cervix is super anterior. You are at 90% effecement". She should come out within days. Her heart rate has been very steady 154-156 beats/min. She seems to be happy and swimming around inside of my womb. I should give her a few more days to let her come on her own. By Thursday, if she doesn't come, I will go see Dr. G and get admitted into the hospital for induction over night. Eventually we should have a baby by Friday (3/16).

Trust me. I have been feeling TORN with this decision. I really want a natural vaginal delivery. But, this waiting game is driving me crakahzy!! Having been induced does not necessary mean I won't have a natural delivery. I just think that I might want to have the epidural to help ease through the long induction process. Apparently my sister had her both kids induced. It took her about 8 hours total from hooking up with the IV, epi to birth. She said that it was very favorable because everything was in control. Anyways, I feel at peace with this plan. We are gonna do it!! Except Will has strained his back 2 days ago and now walking with a limp. He will have a long work day on Thursday. We are going to pray that he will be recovered with his back pain by then and enjoy his new born baby girl for the weekend. :) Finally the happy Yen will only be happier!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Olivia!! Come out!

Hey girl,

You are taking your sweet time in there. I am growing some impatience here. Since last Thursday, I have been off from work. It is just so different of staying home rather than working everyday. I am not complaining about not working. But I am worried about you there.

Dr. Graham stripped the membrane and told me to wait for the weekend to see if you would come out. Unfortunately, I only have had some irregular cramps and no consistent pattern of contraction. It is Friday night. It is the day you are supposed to arrive. But you are still inside of me! I read some online posts.. you are actually at risk of infection. Dear Lord, please keep you healthy inside. I don't want any fever. I just want you to come out healthy. Please please.

So next Monday 9:15am, I am going back to see Dr. Graham. Hopefully by then, he will tell me to go to the hospital and  induce me. I am little scared about the labor process but 100% sure that it will be totally worth of it.

Love you girl. Your daddy is very excited to meet you. He has been a wonderful husband to me. I can't want to see his joyful face while holding you. <3

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Are you ready?

It is getting very close to Olivia's due date. I am growing some impatience because I have been staying home since last Thursday. Tomorrow is Tuesday. My cousin-in-law, Jessica, was suppose to deliver her second son after me already had hers today. In my head, I am thinking.." Have I got my dates mixed up?" I counted with my fingers on last year's June calendar.."well, that was right".. I don't get it. When is baby Olivia coming? I am getting nervous and frustrated.

Last week, my OB took a good look at me. I was 85% effaced, and dilated 1cm. For a first time mom, dilation sounds so exciting. It actually does not mean anything because dilation can remain over 2 weeks without any progression. I definately feel the pressure of her head coming down to my pelvic area, but the contraction and pain have not gotteno too far. My OB said that he would bet my delivery come on Thursday, 3/8. Come on, 2 more days from now. I am begining to not believe it.

In the past few weeks, I have been nesting and getting things ready like crazy. The myth "nesting urge" does not apply to me. I feel that way all the time. Nothing more special these days to make me believe that my real contraction is going to happen. People say that I should take advantages of sleeping more. I tried. Midnight insomnia is just my friend now. Getting up to the bathroom at 3:30am becomes my usual routine. After that, I just felt wide awake. It has been fun watching my husband sleeping and helping him from not pulling his hair out by suppressing his left arm.

I have to save this story for Olivia and tell her when she gets discouraged with life one day.
Who knew that I would get a job interview on the first day of my maternity leave? Right. I had my first and second interview already. Yes. With my big belly walking around, people don't feel it is unnecessary to interview me. Instead, the timing works out perfectly with their reretiring nurse. Well, I hope to hear something good. I am not in a hurry to find a job, because I already have one. This one is right in Bellevue near Will's work and possibly more convenient to Olivia's daycare, wherever she ends up going. So far we don't have her listed anywhere. I should begin looking more seriously now.

Will and I went to 24hr gym to work out on the weekend. Suprisingly I felt pretty good each time I go. I just feel more fatigue and tiring. Of course, she is probably 7-8 pounds now. I am getting tired of carrying her around. I will begin charging her rent after 3/9.

Guess what happened overnight? It snowed!! I am a bit suprised. The forecast says chances of snowflakes today, and then sunny like all the way to 61 degrees on 3/8!! It is like freezing cold 34 degrees right now. Will baby O come on the warmest day of the week? We shall see.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

29 more days!

Dear Olivia,

Can you believe that we only have 29 more days until our first meet?  Are you looking forward to see me and meet your dady? He has been waiting for your arrival for the past 8 months. Your movements are making all of us excited. I can feel you almolst all the time now. I guess you are just getting bigger. The room inside is getting smaller.

Mama has been feeling very unmotivated at work lately. I am considering not going back to work, but also concerned about how to pay off those darn bills with dady's one paycheck. Hopefully your presence will help me make a clear decision. Seriously, the last month is getting harder and harder for me to get up and work. I am using my vacation hours to take every Monday off, so that I can rest one extra day at home.

We are hoping to get a dishwasher installed in the house before the due date. At least, we won't need to wash dishes by hands while being sleep deprived. I also wish we could have time to fix the front entry. The door is just not so secured.. i guess. But we seem to be running out of time.

I just pray everyday that you will come on time healthy. I know that we are born with sinful natures. So I pray that we will have a nurturing environment for you to grow and become more like Christ.