Part III- BK. and now.. Fidi

Summer of 2018 came and went. Yes, we did go back to visit Seattle again. It was a difficult trip to find out about my mom's Parkinson diagnosis. It was also very busy to update our Issaquah townhome....We left Seattle in August with a smokey sky... It was a hot summer with many wild fires. We also left with exhaustion... and feeling of depleted.

I interviewed Emblemhealth in June, and knew that I will get the job and start working and having a "normal" life. Two months later, I started working after returning from PNW. I am still adjusting my mind around the climate difference. AGAIN, it is so hot and humid here.

The legistics of going back to school and coordinating kids' schedule and my schedule nearly freaked me out. Thankfully, Will's parents came to visit and rescue the kids from camps and school holidays.

Now, I am having this "normal" schedule of working and commuting and picking/dropping off kids...is almost unreal. Is THIS the new chapter of life? How long will it last? When will we move back to Seattle? Will I go back to school to finish FNP?

Part II- The East Coast

What happened to the summer of 2017?

1. Bruce turned 3.
2. We spent a great summer in Seattle visiting mom and traveling all different places
3. I started working at Cincinnati Children's Hospital (for just only 2 months)
4. I also began taking classes at Wright State University for FNP program.

Everything was smooth sailing, until one day.. Will came home and updated me that he took an offer to work for Nickelodean. I asked why and where is the job? The rest is history. No matter how much I tried to convince his way to my way. I was not winning.

Ok. Fine. We booked a trip to visit NY during November. Will had to start working there. We just found a place in the south end of Park Slope in Brooklyn. It was not my top choice. I wanted to get away from the city. I wanted to live in the suburbs like Westchester or Pelham... Larchmont area..

Nothing worked for me. I couldn't get my RN license transferred right away. The winter blizzard was harsh. I ended up not taking classes and delaying my program. I took Bruce to Giocare preschool for 3 months and finally gave up. Bruce did not enjoy his preschool transition. EVERY SINGLE TIME when he brought up his old school friends.. and told me how much he misses them. It just breaks my heart.

Olivia on the other hand, successfully transferred to PS 10 and finished Kindergarten with no sweats. I explored more with Bruce at the Prospect Park, Central Library and the zoo like daily..weekly basis. I tried to set up interviews and getting my credentials to work as a school nurse. Unfortunately, nothing came to my way until late May. I was ready for the summer to fly back to Seattle to visit again.

There were so many unhappy moments of living in NY... such as smoking, street litters, people cursing...riding the nasty subways...sigh.. I just did not enjoy living in NYC on top of being a stay-at-home mom.

The new chapter life after done having kids: Part I- the Midwest

To recap what has happened during the summer of 2016:
1.Bruce just turned 2 years old.
2. I finished first year working as a school nurse in Bellevue School District.
3. Will took a job at P&G that required a relocation to Cincinnati,OH

Boom, then, we moved to the midwest.

I vividly remember the hot, and humid month of August was so unbearable. We stayed at the Hilton hotels in Mason for almost 3 weeks? until we signed our new apartment rental lease. I had to fly back to work with the movers. A week later, our stuff were packed and shipped.

We faced numerous transition challenges. Not to mention about the weather difference, but also the people and streets. It felt suddenly like we were thrown back 10 years. The shops were old. The children museum was "vintage", a better way to say it rather than outdated. Kids were fine exploring all sorts of new places and meeting new people.

Soon, we discovered the part of Mason city is newer and more updated with city dollars. Versus, the other part of the town like King Mills is more farmland, and less retails stores. However, the locals were already complaining the increasing number of population or houses being built..etc. The economy boom wasn't going at a great scale whatever. I guess the town just didn't like too much changes at once.

To this date, almost 2 years later, I still miss the kids' preschool at Christ Church in Mason. The teachers were so great. The Mason Community Center had a lot to offer for kids and stay-at-home mom like me to get toned. Especially the Manta Ray Swimming team there gave Olivia a big confident boost. If we didn't live there, we would not have discovered her athelet capability.

I truly enjoyed the time we spent living there. It was the best time to explore with kids (age 2-3, 4-5), and going to places where mostly were kids friendly.

Baby girl turning 3

Being 3 is a huge milestone. For me, it means you are no longer a baby, or a tot. You are a preschooler. It means drop-off, parent night out, swimming lessons, dance class and kids camp. So it really means some more freedom for this tired mom.

On the flip side, I guess it is also pretty emotional for me to watch this baby girl growing into a big girl on every each day. She is still the old silly-me girl, but at the same time adding on some shades of worry and concern on her face here and there. After all the trauma of being in the hospital and getting over her first pneumonia early this year. We are still on the mend for recovery. That does add some season and salt into life.

Recently on instagram, I discovered so many #babywear #babyclothes and started following alot of brands/merchants and even the artists themselves. It's sooo crazy and wonderful at the same time because I can basically follow their ideas on my daily outfits. If only there is enough money in my bank account, I would buy off everything on their blogs.

In conclusion, growing up does demand you to have more material things in life. It also helps to remind me that not everything comes in a forever lasting price. The value of an object is determined by how often you use it. Say like a piece a clothing in your closet sits there over the year and never be worn. To me that costed me $15 but has no return value. So, what is the real value of growing up? It will be determined on how much pain and laughter it will involve to make it a priceless milestone. What? more pain? Yes, by now I should know that life is not supposed to be easy. It will be more angry faces and heartache. Especially with this baby girl.

Horray! Go! Party with your new milestone! Happy Birthday to my baby Olivia.  

You are just so special~~One more post before April comes to fool you :)

As you can tell, I have not updated the blog since you came and interrupted my life (j/k). Tomorrow is the last day of March (the month that I have been waiting for 10 months). I just want to finish it off before April comes.

For your information:
Weight- 7pounds 10 ounces
Length- 20 inches
Time- 3/15/12 Thursday, 12:43pm.
Apgar score- 9 out of 9! woot!

During the first 4 days of your life, I was miserable with breastfeeding. I had some scabies from you sucking or biting my nipples >;(... You were crying so hard to the point that your voice was coarse. We were sad to hear you crying. I was feeling very inadequate, almost disappointed at myself. Finally on Day 5, Mr. Milkman arrived! I have no problem pumping and providing you the nutrients. Although I wish I could breastfeed you directly but I don't think having you abuse my nipple is a pleasant idea.

On your 1 week pediatric visit, you have regained your birth weight and gained 4 more ounces. Good job! Your length is in the 90%! You are gonna be a tall girl! AND, you had to do some blood tests. You did not cry the entire time during the visit! I almost thought that you don't have any pain receptors in your heels! You passed your hearing test..(not deaf for sure now). You have a special mongolian spot on your butt :) You have double dimples on right side of face. You have special one-line pattern on both of your hands.

All in all, you are just so special!!

This is just the beginning...

On March 15th, our little girl finally came. She was gorgeous, beautiful and flawless. The first time I saw her, I thought to myself "Wow, this is what I have been waiting for!". I couldn't believe what I have seen and heard right in front of me. This little precious angel just appeared. I am soooo excited to hold her and kiss her. Not to mention how soft her skin is. I couldn't stop touching her :).

The labor story was long. Too long to forget about it. I checked in the hospital on 3/14 at 3pm. The Pitocin started around 5pm. My water didn't break until 2am on 3/15. Dr. Graham came himself! That man does not need sleep. He came back to see me again around 8am. I was miserable. But I was finally dilated to 6-7cm. Oh! I finally experienced what it felt like having the water broke. It was bathing in a hot spa tub. It was warm..
I clearly remembered how it was like since I started on Pitocin all the way until 12 hours later. Between 4am-6am, Will felt asleep. He was hopeless to watch me moan and suffer. Although he did an excellent job of holding my hands, making sure the water was warm enough in the jacuzzi. However, I was just getting so tired and frustrated. I finally gave in and asked for Epidural around 8:30am. Pretty soon after that request, I felt sudden relief from the contraction and began chatting with the staff. About 11:30am, the nurse, Linda, told me that I am fully dilated and ready to push this baby out. We all thought she was going to be huge. I was mentally ready to tear badly. Dr. G came right on time when Baby O showed her little head. The nurse pulled in a mirror for me to see her head. That moment was unforgettable. I saw her little forehead and hair. Right away, I knew she was facing up. Good thing I had epidural. Otherwise, I would have more pain of pushing her out spine against my spine.

Needless to say, my mother's surprising visit made me feel "out of control" a bit. For some reasons, my mother ALWAYS knew how to surprise me and make me feel .... 'annoyed?' (I didn't tell anyone, especially on FB that we are in the hospital and pushing the baby out. How can she know that we were there and right at that moment!???") Anyways, so she came and saw Olivia still being checked by the nurse. There was NO WAY that I would allow her to come in and watch the birth. So, she fed me while I was just holding the newly born Olivia at the bedside. A couple of hours later, we were moved to the postpartum room. The Tiens, the Yangs later came with goodies. We "tried" to sleep that night but we were in the mist of being exhausted and super excited. We ended up not sleeping well. Finally at 3am, we took advantage of the nursery to take her for like 3 hours. And, that was the beginning of interrupted sleep life.

Are we glad that we did this? YES. For sizzle. Am I ready for another round? HECK NO!!! Will was like " When can we have another baby?" soon after (like 5 mins) he got to hold Olivia. Men clearly don't know how painful labor is. Rarely men know how to appreciate the whole 9 months of child laboring and birthing process. Well, your dad is different. He was all 100% supportive and all there for me on those 3/14 and 3/15 days. You should totally kiss and hug him on your birthday. But, for him to ask for another baby THAT SOON? I just can't see myself go through the process in any time, nor bear the whole month of bleeding AFTER the birth,  and breastfeeding the little cranky one (Sorry, my sweet daughter.. you might have to experience this someday in your future. Being a woman is just not easy..)

Let's playing the waiting game.

After a long week and weekend, baby Olivia is still enjoying her jacuzzi. Who would want to come out while it is still cold and wintery outside? We just had another confusing day of mix snow shower rain yesterday.

Strangely parenthood has begun sinking in since the due date has came and passed. Last Thursday, Dr. G stripped my membrane to help get the contraction started. But I didn't have any regular contraction. I felt like a failure somehow. Some women can have birth delivery within 12 hours after the procedure. I ended up just having some mucus and felt strangely "heavy" on my uterus. (sorry about all these details. I just want to remind Oiliva how mcuh work I have done to bring her out to the world). All in all,  I learned that I should never put high expectation on my kids. God is the one who takes control in our lives. I should put my faith and hope in Him, and not my child. If I do that, I will be disappointed because we would want to control our children and eventually struggle with ourselves.

So, here is the deal for the 41st week. Dr. G took a good look at me. He said, " Your cervix is very favorable to be induced. She is at zero stage. Your cervix is super anterior. You are at 90% effecement". She should come out within days. Her heart rate has been very steady 154-156 beats/min. She seems to be happy and swimming around inside of my womb. I should give her a few more days to let her come on her own. By Thursday, if she doesn't come, I will go see Dr. G and get admitted into the hospital for induction over night. Eventually we should have a baby by Friday (3/16).

Trust me. I have been feeling TORN with this decision. I really want a natural vaginal delivery. But, this waiting game is driving me crakahzy!! Having been induced does not necessary mean I won't have a natural delivery. I just think that I might want to have the epidural to help ease through the long induction process. Apparently my sister had her both kids induced. It took her about 8 hours total from hooking up with the IV, epi to birth. She said that it was very favorable because everything was in control. Anyways, I feel at peace with this plan. We are gonna do it!! Except Will has strained his back 2 days ago and now walking with a limp. He will have a long work day on Thursday. We are going to pray that he will be recovered with his back pain by then and enjoy his new born baby girl for the weekend. :) Finally the happy Yen will only be happier!